Found in New York.


I'm always on the lookout when in the U S of A for New Orleans' very own Zapps- I first tried and fell in love with these in New Orleans itself and was delighted to stumble across this limited edition pack in a Brooklyn corner shop.


The flavour at first glance makes me think of the spicy- cheese doritos dip that I used to love so much (before they changed the recipe and became gross) you can still find that dip here- only it's made by Tostitos (it's highly recommended).


The crisp itself is what to expect from Zapps, a real wholesome kettle crunch from a curly crisp. Not too greasy, and the right amount of seasoning throughout the pack.


The flavouring unfortunately has not hit the spot.. it really leaves a lot to be desired. It's subtle but a little sickly, a hint of chili and a hint of creaminess and that's all. Not the end of the world, but I expected a lot better.


4/10

​Found in Las Vegas.

We get the off pack of cheetos here in the UK, but you'd be amazed by the variety of cheese puffs you can get in the US.. it really is insane and Cheetos lead the way.

Here we have one of their classics but something tells me it's not going to be the flamin hot I know and love in monster munch...

Wow! Opening the pack I'm blinded by the the volcanic glow of these insane crisps.. I have not saturated the picture my friends - this is how they look!

​

And also - they're humungous! Usually when I see puffs this size - I think of the polystyrene- like crisps you get from a cheap offy. Luckily they've kept their crunch on these.

But the flavour is what I was expecting - a vinegary chemical spice mixed with cheese. Safe to say I won't be finishing this packet!

​1/10

These Mickey Mouse emblazoned crisps are for want of a better phrase, squeakin’ awful. How Disney allowed these snacks to be released I’ll never know. Seriously, I feel a brand reputation class action lawsuit coming on because these cheese flavoured maizey mouthfuls are the pits.


If you like Disney’s mascot then the packaging might please. Or even the shape of the crisps, though they can only loosely be described as Mickey Mouse’s head. They could equally be Scottish bagpipe sack, or mutilated cow’s udder, but the drift of the idea is there I guess. They’re also apparently made with 100% sunflower oil (so that’s nice I suppose) and for those who are affected by such things they are gluten free. But that’s pretty much where the positives about these snacks ends.


Made in Spain but found in Abu Dhabi, these ‘queso’ corn crisps really do give cheese flavoured snacks a bad name. The taste is so artificial and nasty. Off-Milk, Rancid-Cheddar or even Sweaty Socks would have been a more accurate description. I know baked corn goods aren’t everyone’s bag but I have to say I usually do enjoy a good non-potato snack. Not this time though. Still in-date, they tasted dry to the point of staleness. Marketed at kids, in a lightweight bag weighing in at just 8g which really is a blessing in disguise, Mooskys should be cute, fun and a tasty treat for your children. Instead, they’re a bally disgrace. Be gone foul demon!


1.5/10 (and that’s just because I feel sorry for the mouse).

I’m not being funny but when concocting flavours for crisps, onion and garlic doesn’t automatically spring to mind. Onion as an accompaniment to cheese, or beef, or even liver (though God forbid some madman actually decides to attempt to make them), yes. But garlic? Flippin’ garlic? With onion?! First of all, aren’t they a bit samey? And secondly, well, the first reason is good enough isn’t it? I mean bulb vegetable and bulb vegetable flavour…what genius decided on that?


Well, a wannabe genius perhaps because these were nowhere near as bad as I was fearing. Maybe it’s the French blood in me (from some ancestry down the line somewhere I’m sure) but I really like garlic. And these crisps, a product of (and found in) the Phillippines (though the packet is mostly in English)  are very garlicky indeed. Ridged so they hold in the flavour particularly well, the garlic hit to these is akin to a post-snail soup dining Thierry Henry trying to snog your face off after France win the European Championships. But as disgusting as that may be (or appealing to some I suppose), eating these isn’t wholly unenjoyable. Not from a flavour point of view. Your mouth does get to differentiate between onion and garlic in fleeting moments whilst chomping away and I rather liked the combo.


But the texture is a let-down. The blurb on the back indicated we’d be dealing with large cuts of crisp but they’re actually rather small. And that’s not helpful when they’re also so light and alas slightly powdery. There’s no clean hard crunch at all and as a consequence the crisps were also broken up a bit in the packet. I’m just glad they’re made from 100% real potatoes. There’s just so many fake potatoes flooding the market these days (sic).


Scoring is difficult given the uniqueness of the flavour which I’d like to see replicated elsewhere, but all in a crisp that flatters to deceive when it comes to the bite. 5/10.

“Curry Squares?!”, I hear you cry. Well, yes Jim, but not as we know them because these little snacks were found in Abu Dhabi and are not generally available in the UK.


However, should Walkers, owners of the Squares brand they bought from previous snack giants Smiths in the UK, decide to broaden their flavour range for Squares then these crisps provide a fine example why they absolutely could, but also why they probably won’t.


If you’re a fan of curries you’ll probably have a favourite style of that Indian-English cuisine, be Tandoori dishes with that clay oven taste, a nice hot Madras, a cheeky classic Balti or maybe even a creamy mild Korma. Not often does one opt for a generic curry, though those do seem to exist on restaurant menus, generally though as a base sauce to accompany of a Biriyani.


These though, possibly in a bid to cover all options, and by doing so not really give itself a stand out USP, are just that a generic curry flavour. I guess German currywurst fans might take exception to such remarks.


Not as overpowering as you might expect when you first take a bite the flavour does certainly linger on the tongue. They’re probably best enjoyed with a nice cold bottle of your common or garden lager which is a shame as they’re proudly made in the UAE (United Arab Emirates) which is of course a dry country with no alcohol available, or at least not to native residents.


They’re certainly square shape as you would bloomin’ well hope given the name. And they definitely have a good crunch, as you might expect of the Squares enjoyed back in blighty but there is something just a little bit odd about the flavour you’re biting into. Not nasty per se but just something a little distracting. I’m not sure what. I’m sure it’s nothing to do with the proud stamp the pack it bears declaring it to be a Winner of an American Award for Quality in 1998, suggesting these were marketed for the tastes of another century!


Basically, they’re alright. But as much as I love a good Rogan Josh, curry crisps have never done it for me although normal Squares have. 4/10.

In the family room of Real Madrid's training grounds - we find Real Madrid's very own crisp.

This seems to be a thing nowdays - football clubs with their own crisps - which is great, but maybe venturing into a flavour would good? This review will be pretty similar to my review of Barcelona's crisps, well they're a bit better.

Pretty standard potato crisps with some salt on them, could do with being a bit thicker.. they are of the quality of the tesco's own value crisps that ended up in my lunchbox as a child, scarring me for life.

This crisps are being modelled by the dashing Roman Kemp.

5/10

Found in New York.

Cold drink at the ready, i'm taking on these fire engulfed babies from across the pond.

The crisp I can instantly see is too thin and in need of crunch - they're super bright red - this is going to hurt. I attack the first one and i'm correct they need more crunch... and owwwww they're burning. The first 10 seconds are actually really good. A lovely spice with a really solid paprika flavouring. After the 10 seconds are up, the real heat starts to hit. Serious afterburn.

They're definitely not for the faint of heart but what a full flavour, spice lovers will really enjoy these. I'll allow the thinness because of the great flavour.

Yum!


8/10